2024 Watchword "Listen," part two
An Obsculta Inventory
Esther de Waal writes elegantly and asks questions that invites the reader on a retreat. Her Seeking God: The Way of St Benedict might be my favorite introduction to the Benedictine way of life. In reflecting on the first word of the Rule (Obsculta), which de Waal defines as a reverent, ready, humble way of listening, she writes, “It involves not only listening to the Word of God, but listening at many other levels too, to the Rule, to the Abbot and to the brethren.”
She also mentions the importance of listening to the body. The back ache might be saying more than “your back hurts.” My friend Joel Midthun tells me, “Nathan, your body don’t lie.” De Waal writes,
Listening to ourselves and learning to love ourselves, paying attention to our body, to its demands and its rhythms, has been pushed underground by centuries of Puritan repression and it is only now at long last being taken seriously again. The ache in my back need not necessarily be dismissed with stoic fortitude as lumbago; it may be telling me about tension and strain, a signal that it is time to stop and be kind to my body and my nerves and not make impossible demands on myself.
In the quiet of this moment, I also want a quiet heart, a heart with listening ears instead of a chattering mouth.
Obsculta. Shema.
Listen to the Word of God. What has the Good Shepherd been saying? Has there been themes to recent messages or readings? What are you hearing from God right now?
Listen to other supportive voices. Do you have an abbot or abbess? Probably not, in the way an abbey community does. Is there anyone with paternal or maternal care for you? They know you, are invested in your destiny, can speak to you openly, and root for you like a mom or dad? If you don't have a person like this, you are not alone. Paul says to the Corinthian Church, “though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers” (1 Corinthians 4.15). Pray that God will provide. Maybe you have a pastor or therapist or spiritual director? What has come from conversations with them? Are you in a Christian community? Can you pay attention to what is happening there? What is God doing? What is God saying? What interactions are meaningful? What other themes have you seen or heard in other books, resources, or movies that resonate? What are you hearing around you right now?
Listen to your body. The Psalmist uses somatic language to describe the impact of guilt, “my bones waste away” (Psalm 31.10). What are you bones saying? That unwelcome warm sensation around your temples (shame)? The clenched jaw (tension)? Slumped shoulders (burden-bearing)? Maybe the stiffness in your body is simply saying, “You should move more.” Medical tests often say something worth hearing. Too much of this or too little of that. I am convinced my eczema outbreaks are often a warning signal of affective or reactive depression, what Archibald Hart calls the common cold of mental health issues. When I push down big feelings instead of dealing with them, they will come out sideways. Listen. We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139). What are you hearing within you right now?
A prayer from Esther de Waal, “Lord God, patient and steadfast you wait for us until we open to you. We wait for your word, help us to hear your voice. Speak and bring your Son to us, Jesus the word of your peace. We wait for your word, Lord God, patient and steadfast.”