Held by what you have long-held
Resources for a Catastrophe
The last few weeks have been difficult. During these weeks, the ancient ways have held me. Old Psalms. Old words. Old friends. I’ve been held by what I long-held. Thank God there are times when lament and imprecation don’t feel relevant. I keep praying them anyway. Then one day catastrophe hits, and I need them. And they are there. Not like new shoes, but like an old pair of slippers. Rowan Williams writes:
The holy life is one in which we learn to handle things, in businesslike and unselfconscious ways, to ‘handle’ the control of the tongue, the habit of not passing on blame, getting up in the morning and not gossiping. A monastic lifetime is one which these habits are fitted to our hands…The prosaic settledness of some marriages, the ease of an old priest celebrating the Eucharist, the musician’s relation to a familiar instrument playing a familiar piece. (Rowan Williams, Holy Living: The Christian Tradition for Today, 53,55).
Holding to the Way of Word and Prayer ends up holding me. Here are the actual resources that have held me.
Most listened to? The simple words of the mass have been core. This Agnus Dei was by far my most played song of 2023, and the album from which it comes, my most played album. So rich. The Lord’s Supper itself, even though I receive it frequently, has been sustaining to me. Not attained, but received. Wounded, yet healed body. Death won’t have the final word. The crucified and risen Lord. God’s Lamb who takes away the sin of the world, mine included. Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy (Psalm 43).
Most read? The Psalms. Always, the Psalms. Together, we read them, and pray them, and listen to them, and sometimes sing them. Evening and morning. The whole spectrum of experiences. We bring even our darkest emotions before God, imagining that we must be alone in feeling such things. But, there is our brother Jesus, and a little company of intercessors also praying, and weeping, and bearing witness.
This year our community has begun using a marvelous resource called Psalms For All Seasons.
What have you long-held? It is important to note, because during catastrophe, it may have to hold you.
"What have you long-held? It is important to note, because during catastrophe, it may have to hold you." I see this conversely now, I am holding Justus as he has always held me.