I’m from the pre-Amazon era. I’m old enough to remember the tug-o-war my 6-year-old sister and 8-year-old me had over the heavy JC Penny’s catalog this time of year. We had glossy dreams of how our lives would be improved with the perfect Christmas present. As we turned the pages we would circle what we wanted. I could see what she wanted and she could see what I wanted. Our desires captivated us all through December. Our wants grew stronger when the wrapped gifts appeared under the tree. Christmas Eve couldn’t come fast enough. The advent wreath and calendar were not pious practices, but consumer countdowns.
Our desires hint toward our destiny. We become what we love. We go where our longings take us. So, are we victims to our own desires? We certainly can be! Thirst for approval nearly killed my soul. Desire for drink has destroyed many. Hunger for vengeance has consumed people.
40 Advents later have re-shaped my desires. It didn’t happen one year. It took many. My 48-year-old longings look different from my 8-year-old longings. My grown-up Christmas list looks different.
Longings are reformed by habits. Ask someone in recovery. Often they have a chip or coin that indicates a string of days that have been redeemed by a new practice. Ask someone who comes to Men’s Prayer on Wednesday mornings. They will tell you that the 15 minutes we spend in silence that once seemed so long and awkward, is now the 15 minutes we look forward to in a loud week. Ask someone who comes to daily prayer (8:30AM/8:30PM). At first, the daily use of the Psalms seemed foreign and irrelevant, but over time have become the only resource expansive enough to contain all of life in prayer.
Weekly worship takes more than one week to transform us. One Advent won’t cure our consumerism. An occasional meme from the Psalms won’t contain the full spectrum of emotions we need to process in the presence of God.
It takes a while to actually desire what we say and sing: O come O come Emmanuel. Ransom captives! Bid our sad divisions cease. Stir up your power, O Lord and come. Our hopes are found in thee.
Beautiful